


We can't run away from this

by Helloloveyes



Category: Sterek - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-18 11:05:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16117112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helloloveyes/pseuds/Helloloveyes
Summary: Scott´s pack defeats the Hunt but even after having Stiles back they don´t remember him. Stiles decides to start over as far away as he can, but he crosses path with the Hale sibilings and he has to choose: to run or to stay.





	1. The goodbye gift

**Author's Note:**

> Non Beta. I have a couple but rl is hard so I decided to stop keeping this story just form me and to share it.  
> I know, I know, grammar sucks. I am sorry for that, but If you can skip that and read to the end I have two words for you:  
> THANK YOU.

Stiles saw him first. 

 

He ran. 

 

On the subway back to his apartment he had a to fight a panic attack, flashbacks of the time he escaped the other side filling his mind. 

No one could completely remember him. There was a clone of his dead mother with a happier version of his dad. He wasn't needed in Beacon Hills anymore. He wasn't Scott’s brother, nor John’s son, actually there was no John Stilinski but Noah Stilinski. His dad had another name, because he wasn't his dad. It hurt to see Lydia and Malia trying to figure out how to interact with someone that was important to them but could not remember why.

It was too much. Stiles couldn't stand it so he left.

He faked his papers thanks to Danny’s teachings in the art of computer magic and a little help of the Sheriff and some of Deaton's contacts.

He decided on New York because it was big and far away. 

He started college, found a job. His dead mother’s clone insisted on paying for his apartment because that’s what your fake mother, drowning in guilt only for existing and blaming herself for your traumatic life, apparently did.

Stiles needed the help, but felt he was only a distant burden to sent money to once a month, to keep him away without feeling awful. 

But Stiles didn't care. Or rather was working on not caring. He was getting better.

The first few months were hard because of the nightmares, the panic attacks and the full on identity crisis he had to deal with the first few months. He was getting better.

He made some acquaintances at work, had a study group and a good thing going on with himself in general, until he took a detour from his usual walk back home.

He decided to turn left in a random street and see what New York had to offer. He definitely wasn't expecting to find Derek freaking Hale of all people.

Stiles saw a sign of a coffee shop that made him smile: have a coffee date with Jane Austen! He needed coffee every day to function like a normal human being, with the nightmares and all that, and couldn't remember when was the last time he had a date or read a good book. So, he stood in front of the door but right before he opened it,Stiles looked through one of the big glass windows and there he was... Derek Hale, sitting in a comfy looking chair with a book on his lap.

Stiles’ heart stopped for a moment, his breath caught in his throat, his thinking process collapsed.

_ Derek is alive. _

_ Derek is alive and looks well. _

_ Derek is here in New York. _

_ Derek is…  _ Suddenly Stiles brain functions returned and he realized with bitterness... _ not going to remember me. _

And just like that his heart started pounding against his rib cage.

Stiles turned around, nearly collided with an innocent by standard and ran away. He ran until his lungs burned and the tears in his eyes dried. And then he ran some more.

He ended up hiding in a dark alley, kneeling next to a dumpster, fighting to get some air in his lungs, hurting. So many painful memories from his life, not because all the memories were bad, but because he was the only one remembering.

He clutched at his chest when all the events of the hunt came back to him. Reaching for Lydia from the other side, allying with Peter of all people to escape only to face the lack of recognition in his father's eyes. His brother struggling to feel their bond. An impostor calling herself Claudia Stilinski.

All the pain.

All the emptiness and darkness.

All back.

Seeing Derek made it real again. Something present and not miles away. He had been stolen of his life and wasn't ever getting it back.

Stiles did his best to suppress the sobbings. He recovered enough to walk the last few blocks to his apartment and once he locked the door behind him he collapsed on his small, old mattress on the floor. 

\--

After a few days of dealing with everything again he managed to gain some balance.

He slept a few hours at night. Drank his black coffee while walking to the call center he worked as an IT assistant and then went back home.

Naomi and Ben, his cubicle´s neighbours noticed and commented on his pale face but he assured them it was nothing to worry about.

Stiles was coming back from work on a friday when he looked across the street to the other sidewalk and saw him again.

Only this time Derek saw him too.

Stiles tried to act as if his heart wasn’t skyrocketing and trying to explode out of his chest when someone blocked his sight of Derek. A woman. But Derek seemed to have picked on Stiles’ distress because he didn’t take his eye off of Stiles. When the woman turn around Stiles full on stop breathing.

It was  _ Laura. _

As in Laura Hale. As in the half dead body Stiles and Scott had found over two years ago in the woods. Killed by her uncle Laura. 

_ So…  _ -Stiles brain started to work on full supernatural-reasoning mode. - _ Laura never went back to beacon hills. Never died and therefor Derek never ran behind her. _

It was seconds. Stiles resumed the walking, but it was too late. It was enough for the werewolves siblings to noticed him and he felt more than knew that they were following him.

Maybe Stiles was just being paranoid but he couldn't help it. He took the subway, mingled with the people there, then went out with the crowd. He walk a couple of blocks on the big apple and then went back to the sub. All the time trying to keep it cool. To pretended he wasn't trying to lose their track.

Finally when he felt safe or just tired of running he went back to his apartment and got ready for his nightly fight: Sleep.

\--

Stiles decided he was an idiot. There was no reason to run away from Derek Hale or his dead clone sister.

They didn't know him and couldn't really consider him a threat,  _ right? _

But just in case he checked the vial of mountain ash he carried in his bag.  _ Just in case _ . He repeated mentally.

He wasn't scared of Derek, even if he should. But his sister was a protective alpha and Stiles wasn't sure what she would do if she saw him as a threat.

Anyways he left his small apartment where all he had was  a mattress on the floor, a small kitchen and a scarce closet, plus his college books and an old computer.

May be if he was lucky a car would run him over and kill him painlessly.

...

He wasn't lucky.

...

Stiles went to work, had his coffee and lunch break (which meant sandwiches from the market across the street) answered some more calls, nodded at something Ben said and that was it for the day. Ready to go back home.

“Stiles, the bar is this way.” Ben pointed to the other street.

“The bar?” He asked confused.

“Carrie’s birthday party?” Naomi jumped in, her messy curls swaying up and down.“The one we were talking about all week?”

_ Oh, yeah. “ _ That was today.” he breath following both of them.

“Yes.” Naomi said, not able to hide the worry glint in her dark eyes.

While Ben was around Stiles’  _ fake age _ , Naomi was a few years older and for some reason that made her feel as if she had to take care of them. 

The three of them shared schedules regularly and Stiles enjoyed the company but he wasn't ready to get attached. 

Not yet. 

It was too soon and his heart couldn't take it.

“I'm ok.” he repeated for the millionth time but they still seemed unconvinced.

“You need alcohol.” Ben said once they got to the bar, his green eyes scanning for a table. The rest of the office´ workers were already cheering and drinking.

“I don't know if that's a good idea.” Naomi commented while following the ginger man around the sea of bodies.

By the time they sat down they were already having another of their endless discussions and Stiles smirked. The sexual tension between them was out of the charts. They bickered about everything: 

-The office´ new colour walls. 

Naomi: “Too bright.”  Ben: “not bright enough.” 

-Someone broke the bending machine and they couldn’t get their daily sugar supplies. 

Ben: “Good for the diet.”  Naomi: “Screw the diet I need my candy”. 

-They fixed the machine. 

Ben: “you must be happy now.”

Naomi: “Why? Because all I do is complain? Have you heard yourself talking?”

Right now they were arguing about alcohol and age.

Stiles was 19 but he had faked his papers to say he was 21 so he could live on his own despite his dad and his mom’s clone complains. Or should he say Noah and Claudia Stilinski? 

He drank a beer that Ben handed him and laughed more openly when Naomi shoot a heavily sarcastic comeback to the red head. Stiles let the alcohol cloud his mind and pull down his defences. 

Naomi stared in awe and Ben nodded in silence to himself.

“What?” Stiles asked leaving the empty glass on the table.

“Nothing.” Naomi shrugged. “Just glad you enjoy yourself while I have to deal with this alone.” she a pointed to Ben.

“What is that supposed to mean?” the guy frowned trying to hide his amusement.

And just like that they kept going.

Stiles laughed louder. “You two remind me of someone I used to know. He made me crazy! It seemed that every word out of my mouth was an insult to him, every plan I came up with had to be rebuffed by him.” Naomi and Ben gawk. That was the longer he shared about himself. “I wish I had told him how much I enjoyed our arguments when I had the chance.”

“What happened?” Ben asked.

Stiles didn't feel like explaining the unexplainable and gazed around the bar avoiding their curious faces. Suddenly his eyes found a familiar set of eyebrows and his heart skipped a beat. Derek had his multi coloured eyes fixed on him from a distant table. Of course the werewolf was having no trouble hearing him clearly and that just set something inside Stiles up.

A spark.

He went back to being a teenager excited to make Derek roll his eyes, huff and puff and eventually laugh. He remember the thrill of bickering with the werewolf, how no one pushed his buttons as he did.

He turned around to his work mates, a glint in his eyes. 

“Nothing really happened. I was too young to realise that I was attracted to him and our banter was our own kind of foreplay. I couldn't accept that tall, dark and broody was a thing that turned me on.” he smirked and winked.

Ben spluttered a little of his beer and Naomi blushed.

“So…” Ben dare to asked after a while. “Did you two ever…?”

“No.” Stiles sighed. “But he was the reason I started to question my sexuality. In a way I'm thankful, I can now say I'm a proud bisexual.” He raised his empty glass and toast against the air.

“Well I'm bisexual too.” Naomi said a little quiet but raised her half full glass to Stiles’s.

At some point Ben stopped pretending not to look at Naomi´s dark skin, curly hair, and lovely black eyes. She looked content when he started to drink only soda instead of alcohol. Both forgetting about the rest of the bar. Which was ok with Stiles because that way it was easier to sneak out. 

The bar was packed but Stiles managed to get halfway towards the door when Derek closed his path. 

Stiles was expecting something like that but still wasn't prepared to the full experience of having Derek Hale at arm’s reach again. He looked better than what Stiles remembered. The werewolf was shaved now, wearing a blue henley and his eyes were softer than Stiles had ever seen. They looked at each other for a moment, not saying anything but tracing each other's features until someone walked by and pushed Stiles breaking the moment.

_ He doesn’t remember me.  _

The thought echoed in his head.  _ He doesn’t remember me.  _

His chest hurt.  _ He doesn’t remember me.  _

His heart started to break.  _ He doesn’t remember... _

_ He doesn’t ….  _

There were a lot of different emotions on Derek's face like caution, curiosity, but no recognition. And that was too much.

Getting over the initial shock Stiles stepped around him and went for the door, leaving the bar, the music and the people behind.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't handle Derek Hale not knowing him. Not remembering everything they lived together. The times they saved each other over and over again. They got to a point of unspoken trust.

“Wait.” The familiar voice called after him and Stiles stopped but didn't turn. “I… do we know each other?” Derek’s voice was getting closer. 

The words cutting Stiles deep inside to a part he hated to let out. The part where he kept his Derek-centric memories. His teenage unresolved feelings.

“You don't know me.” He said and knew he was saying the truth.

He gave another step away hoping that was enough.

But of course it wasn´t.

“But you do know me.” It didn't sound like a question. “You said my name the other day.”

Stiles heart was out of control so he focused on controlling his body, deep breaths in and out. 

_ I did? When? How?  _ His mind rewind. 

_ But, no. No. _ The answer was no. Stiles knew a Derek after losing his sister, a Derek that killed his uncle for revenge and power, a Derek that became a broken alpha. Not this Derek. 

“No. I don't know you.” And his shatter heart bled with the realisation.

Of course the wolf picked on his distress. “You are lying.” 

Stiles felt that spark again. He turned around defiant. 

“How do you know?” He snapped. “You don't know me.” The emotional charge on his words were heavy enough to make Derek step back. “And believe me you don't want to.”

Stiles turned to leave only to meet a pair of angry, almost red eyes.

“ _ That _ , sounded a lot like a threat.” Laura Hale almost snarled. “I don't like people threatening my brother.”

Replaying his own words Stiles could see why she thought that but still he was a rollercoaster of bottled emotions and now he was pissed.

Instead of being smart Stiles squared his shoulders and glared at Laura, an alpha, straight to her eyes.

“You would know if I was threatening any of you.”

_ Stupid Stiles.  _ His brain yelled.

A growl escaped her. “Is that so?” She asked stepping closer. 

Stiles had his vial in his pocket. All he needed to do was reach for it. 

He didn't move and kept his gaze up. “You are blocking my way.” 

“Maybe I want to chat with you.” She smirked showing her teeth.

“Maybe you should move.” Stiles warned.

“Make me.” She challenged.

“Laura!” Derek intervened. “That's not why we came here for?”

While the siblings had a silent staring contest Stiles tried and failed not to look at Derek, but he was so close. 

_ Just a little bit _ . He indulged.

At the sight of the man his heart squeezed and twisted by all the things he wanted to say but couldn't. Shouldn’t. He was so fucked up. And he didn't want to ruin Derek's life. Derek´s happiness. Because he looked happy, just like his dad. 

They all were better without Stiles in their lives.

Judging by Derek's eyebrows and nostrils he was picking up on all of Stiles 's inner disaster and when he looked back at him it was with all the force of his magical coloured eyes.

“We just wanted to talk to you. That's all.” Derek used his soft unthreatening voice and Stiles swallowed. His tongue darting out a bit to wet his dry lips. It was a nervous tic. He couldn't say no that face.

“Ok.”

He relaxed his shoulders and his voice was softer than he intended.  _ Stupid Derek and his enchanting eyes. _ Stiles hadn’t known Derek could pull that kicked-puppy-face off until that day on the pool after the kanima attack and dread the day the werewolf figured out the effect he had on Stiles.

“We should go to a more private place.” Derek said and Stiles knew he was referring to the people on the street that was down right staring now. But his heart stuttered all the same. A silly pun in the tip of his tongue to cover his reaction out of habit. 

But this wasn't the Derek he knew.

And he wasn't that Stiles anymore.

After an awkward silence where he could feel Laura’s gaze on him. He nodded in agreement.

\------

They ended up in a 24 hour diner close to the bar. Laura and Derek sitting on a booth  facing Stiles.

He felt nervous and scrutinized under the bright lights, but tried his best to keep it cool and ordered pie when the waitress came.

“You are paying.” Was all he said.

Laura huffed but Derek nodded, giving a look to his sister.

“How do you know us.” Laura said once Stiles had his pie. “And don't dare to lie, well now.”

“Of course you will.” He muttered around a mouthful of pie. “It's not really that strange. We are all from Beacon Hills.” He saw Derek´s shoulders tensed, the shadow of guilt darkening his features. “I knew Cora.” He shrugged, hoping to ease Derek out of whatever guilt trip he got caught into. 

“I never smelt you before.” Laura muttered bitterly.

“You mean saw.” He took a big bite of his pie to hide his smirk. “Anyways where is she?” he asked after a moment.

Derek put his arm over Laura's chest to hold her. “If you are from beacon Hills then you should know the answer.” Her eyes were red.

“Laura!” Derek hissed.

Stiles was speechless. Had they forgotten her too? 

_ No, no. They remember her, they just don't remember that she is alive and well because they never went back to Beacon Hills, therefore all the events after that did not happen.  _

Stiles took a deep breath, realization dawned on him.

While Derek was whispering some words to Laura who was struggling to get her control back. He thought of a way to fix this.

Who would have thought it was Derek, broody, angry-anchor, hit-first-ask-later,  _ push horney teenagers against hard surfices Hale _ , was the calm one.

But it made sense, somehow for Stiles. After all Laura had gone back to hometown alone, without any plan whatsoever and ended up killed because of it. So Stiles could only guess that was usually her M.O. and may be Derek consumed by grief and loss ended up just like her.

He took a rushed decision. If he could help, just a little. If something he did could contribute to someone's -Derek´s- happiness, then he would take it. No matter what that meant for him.

Stiles finished his pie with one hand while dialing a long number out of memory on his phone with the other. He was, after all, good at remembering. That was his biggest curse.

The phone rang once. Laura took a deep breath. Her eyes no longer red.

Twice.  Derek loosen his grip over her.

Third ring. The siblings shared a silent conversation.

Fourth. They noticed Stiles on his phone and looked at him. Laura with a distrusting frown. Derek with curiosity.

Fifth ring. “Hello?” Cora´s voice sounded sleepy and suspicious.

Laura and Derek stopped breathing, they eyes wide open in shock and disbelief.

Stiles held Derek´s gaze.

_ This is the least I can do for you.  _ He thought.  _ My goodbye gift. _

“Thank God you kept your number,” Stiles breath. “There is someone here that wants to talk to you.”

Stiles extended his arm towards Laura offering his phone. The siblings stared at the it scared and almost reverently.

Laura took it with a shaky hand and cried over it the moment she breath “Cora?”

Derek was just as enthralled by hearing his little sister breathing that it wasn't hard to disappear.

Stiles adjusted his jacket to defend against the cold night. He walked hurriedly to take the subway and then he ran to his apartment, packed his things the biggest suitcase he had and then left. 

It was too late to explain to the landlord. A sixty year old lady who he wrote a small note to tell her he was leaving, and enough cash for the trouble, that he swiftly slipped under the lady's door.

He had no back up plan for now, but it didn't matter because he knew in his heart that he did the right thing.

 


	2. B side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hales POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little something extra for those beautiful comments this story got. ;)
> 
> You people are so sweet. <3
> 
> Tomorrow a brand new chapter :)

Laura couldn't believe it. She managed to ask the necessary information by the time the phone died. She could feel Derek´s hopes and fears as if they were her own. 

“Can this be true?” She whispered and that's when the missing human caught her full attention. “Whoever he is. We have until the next plane to Argentina to find him.”

~*~

Derek was good at tracking. That was his talent. He could smell someone once and that was enough. 

But this time it was different.

He had noticed the human since that day in the cafeteria. He was reading Lizzy Bennet´s answer to one of the most horrible marriage proposals in the 1800´s when he heard his name being whispered quietly and with so much emotion that he had to look up. But there was nothing, except for a subtle scent carried by the breeze when a new customer entered.

He told Laura about it and she started to worry. 

_ Hunters. Enemies. Old or new. Threats. _ Those were the words used by his older sister, his alpha.

But Derek had other words flooding his mind. 

_ Follow, find, warm, feel. _

The second time, he was waiting for Laura after work. He caught the scent, a little unsure, but it was  _ it _ . He took a deeper breath and enjoyed the addicting smell for a moment. His eyes meeting round, surprised amber ones across the street. He couldn't stop staring, or breathing in.

The young man on the other side stopped the moment Laura turned to watch him, and that helped Derek to pick up his heart rate.

Laura had the idea of following first but that proved to be useless when after a few hours they hit a dead end.

Laura was sure now.  _ Threat. Leave, hide or destroy. _

And Derek knew he should feel that too but he didn't. 

_ Find, want, more. _

His wolf fought restlessly to get out, to take control and go with his instincts.

It was easy for Derek to find the guy’s work place after a few days of tracking and Laura decided to follow the strange young man to a bar that friday night.

The place was packed but they didn't need to be close to keep an eye on their target, so Laura choose a small table across from the stranger and Derek followed. He heard shamelessly to every word Stiles -as the others called him- said at the bar. Trying to gather information. At first he went for subtle, undercover-agent-style as his sister called it, but then, something about the guy’s tone, sad and longing, made his eyes look up at Stiles.

The moment their gaze met he felt his heart skip a beat.

“You ok?” Laura asked but he couldn't answer.

Stiles was talking about someone he liked but never did anything about it. A man. And Derek felt the flare of hope. Maybe he could get closer to him. To Stiles. And if Laura was wrong then… maybe he could invite Stiles to a cup of coffee and a date with Austen, or Derek himself.

He noticed how Stiles manipulated the conversation in a way the people around him were unaware. He saw the guy easily leaving his friends without a word. A little smirk on the corner of his lips as if he planned for the other two to be so lost in each others they wouldn't notice him leaving.

Soon Derek realised that was exactly the case.

It wasn't a conscious move, not really. In a blink of an eye he was standing in front of Stiles preventing him from leaving the bar. Afraid of losing him again. The flash of recognition on the amber eyes was obvious. Derek search the face trying to find something there.

_ Do I know you? _ repeating in his mind.  _ Where do you know me from? _

But his scent was off, full of sadness, heavy with something Derek knew by experience was lost hope, lost opportunity.

Not knowing what to say, he ended up following the human outside, with Laura on his hills. Derek tried to keep his big sister under control but she was on full protective-alpha-mode, and he couldn't blame her.

After his first year of therapy he was finally able to confess to his sister what had happened to him, how the fire felt like his fault. Since then Laura was very adamant to prove Derek was not guilty at all, to take care of him, to keep him safe from hurting like that again.

Laura was his everything, and even when his therapist confirmed him he was ready to start dating again he didn´t. He felt the need to focus on his work and help his sister to move on too. Not make her worry about him getting attached to another psychotic murderer was a priority.

But now… Derek couldn't take his eyes away from Stiles´ mouth, his eyes, his messy brown hair, his long fingers, his beauty marks. It was amazing how this human held himself under Laura´s alpha glare, how he challenged her despite his fear.

Stiles was a mix of  scents mingling like coffee, spice, and the undertone of woods -which was rare in the middle of the city.  A mix of feelings that Derek could read on his chemo signals. Anxiety, fear, pain, hurt, hope, sometimes tenderness, it was fascinating. And Derek felt himself fall under Stiles´s spell until he mention Beacon Hills. 

That's when he scented the tenderness in the air. 

Stiles seemed to know how to read him somehow, that the simple mention of their hometown was bad for Derek.

Then “Cora”.

The moment Laura´s muscle tensed Derek reacted. Keeping her in place a little ashamed of having done it more for Stiles´s sake than keeping their secret.

He could still smell the bottled emotions that escaped Stiles in soft, warm waves while calming Laura down.

They agreed silently to keep it cool when they both realized Stiles was calling someone.

“Hello?” Derek felt the air being punched out of his lungs the moment he recognized it.

_ How can this be possible? _

But Stiles had this look, his eyes moving over Derek's face almost tangible, like a caress. It felt like a gift.

A parting gift he realized the moment he broke into the empty apartment where Stiles had lived. The fridge was empty just like the cupboards and the closet.

Somehow Derek knew he wouldn't be able to find him this time.

“He left his apartment?” Laura sounded surprised over the phone.

“I don't think he'll return to his work either.”

“Ok.” Laura said after a moment. “We have four hours to catch a plane. Come home and after we find... “ she cleared her throat. “After, we will deal with  him.”

“We scared him off his apartment!” Derek growled.

“Look, I know it seems bad, but if he didn't have anything to hide then he wouldn't had disappeared.” Laura snapped back.

Derek ended the call, he didn't want to argue. Laura had a point but all he could smell all over the apartment was sadness. Grief. Hurt.

Stiles wasn't running away from them because he was afraid, he did it because, for some reason, Laura and him represented more… suffering.

It didn't make any sense but Derek just knew. He could read Stiles lingering scent too easily.

His wolf howling pitifully, clawing inside Derek's chest. Again, it didn't make any sense.

Derek sat down over the abandoned mattress and before he noticed he had his nose buried between the sheets, inhaling deeply. It felt as if he  _ should _ know this scent. That undertone of woods now was understandable now. He had grown in Beacon Hills and that, after all, was still Derek's first home. His only home...

It was early morning when Derek woke up suddenly from his slumber stricken by the most weird realisation, there had been no pillows over the bed. He looked over Laura to see her profoundly sleep on her seat. Then he turned to the window. The world seemed much more peaceful and small when you looked at it from miles away in an airplane.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Lots and lots of Sterek love to you! <3 <3 <3 <3


	3. I´m not letting you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally chapter 2. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Stiles had spent the  night on the airport, he had gone there thinking he had to disappear but after getting there he didn't know where to go. It was a sad and depressing realisation so he slept there surrounded by other people waiting for their plane, people that unlike him had a place to go, a home they belong to.

By 6 am he was fully awake and had a plan. He wasn't going to leave his studies. Derek couldn't tied him to NYU no matter how much he tried. And Stiles had one person he felt safe enough to approach for asylum and then he'll manage something, he always did.

Stiles acted on classes the same way he did at work, always keeping himself distant, but not everyone respected that. He had a classmate that no matter how much Stiles tried, she never walked away.

When he knock on the door of the apartment building an hour later he had a carefully crafted lie but his voice failed him the moment Em opened it. She looked at him from head to toe and silently let him inside. No questions or accusations.

She gestured for him to seat, Stiles´ bag forgotten next to the door. The place was small but felt homey. The walls had colorful patterns that Em probably painted herself. There were unmatching chairs around a sturdy wooden table and a soft looking couch in the middle of the living room calling Stiles name. He left himself sink on the cushions and his back started to relax a little.

“You ok?” Em asked, a worried expression on her usually happy features.

Stiles shrugged , tears gathering on his eyes. His vision blurred.

“Don't worry. You can stay here.” She put a hand on his shoulders. “Make some cocoa?” Stiles realised then they weren't alone.

“Sure.” another female voice said.

Emilia was Stiles’s classmate. They worked together a couple of times and he soon noticed she was someone like Scott, before the bite. Innocent and ready to take in any lost puppy, ready to shelter any lost soul.

After a few minutes someone put a warm cup of hot chocolate in his hands.

“Sonia.” She said.

The woman was taller than Em, long black hair, sharp features and an aura of controlled power that made him think of Derek as an alpha. The other Derek. The one he used to know.

“Stiles.” He finally found his voice. “And thank you. I need to find a place to rent and then I’ll be out of here. I promise.”

“Don't worry about it.” Em was still sitting next to him, her comforting hand over his shoulder was grounding him. “We can help you out and you can stay as long as you have to.”

Sonia nodded once.

“Now,” Em said with her usual smile starting to show, “what if you take a warm bath and get comfy while we prepare this awesome -and slightly bump- couch for you to have some rest.”

Em’ smile was contagious, Stiles already knew that but he confirmed it again when saw Sonia struggled with her own lips, trying not to fell prey of the infectious cheering.

Stiles just gave in.

It was nice having someone like Em around. Someone oblivious to the horrible, dark things of the world.

~*~

Cora spoke with her alpha explaining the phone call and the soon-to-expect visit. All the time fearing it was a setup or a dream.

Her doubts disappeared the moment she smelt her sister’s scent in the air, carried miles before she could actually see her.

Cora felt like a 9 year old again when Laura and Derek called her name and she ran up to them, letting her body melt into their embrace.

_Family. Pack. Love._

Her inner wolf was howling happily.

 _Family_. Pack. Love.

~*~

After getting to held her little sister on her arms Laura was able to breath deeply again. She presented her respect to the other alpha and explained the reason of their intrusion.

“Cora has been one of us for years. But we always knew someone could come to claim her.” The old woman said in a broken english. “Aquí son bienvenidos.”

“Gracias.” Answered Derek after translating.

Laura was awful at Spanish or any other language beside english.

After the formal introductions they proceeded to let Cora guide them through the land. It was beautiful. She told them how she got there and about her life in general.

Laura had to held back tears more than once seeing how much their little sister had grown. Cora was gorgeous, strong and independent.

“If we establish our pack again.” Laura inevitably had to ask. “Would you come with us? Is that something you’ll like?”

She saw Cora’s inner struggle, felt it in her scent and body language.

“You don't have to.” Laura assured her with a hand on Cora's neck. “We are family Cora and as your older sister all I care for is your happiness.” She caressed her cheek. “ And if you found that here, then here is where you belong.”

It was hard. She felt Derek's little whine too. But it was the right thing to do.

“For now, let's enjoy our reunion.”

~*~

Derek was immensely happy. Even after Laura's words. He understood. Laura and him were more than siblings, they were pack. They needed each other like lungs to air. But Cora had found her own pack and a place to call home during the years they spent apart.

Late that night while he rolled over a very comfortable bed, he took the dead phone out of his pocket. There wasn't a reason to keep the mobile, not really. But Derek couldn't throw it away.

He tried to catch the fading smell of his old owner but it was almost gone.

 _Stiles_.

All he had was a name and a very gigantic debt. The young man had giving them their sister back, and in return Derek managed to take his work and apartament away.

Staring out the window he thought in how could he ever repaid Stiles. Or if he would ever found him again.

~*~

“No. We are leaving.” Em said determined. Taking Stiles hand on her way out of the third apartament that week.

“But-” he started to complain.

“It smells like someone died there.” Em shuddered.

“Like?” Sonia huffed a little amused.

Ok, yes. It wasn't the best thing he saw but it was cheap and it had been two weeks since he knocked on their door. Stiles felt like he was abusing their hospitality.

“Anyways, we are going to visit my family this weekend and we’ll need you to take care of the plants.”

“You don't have plants Em.” Stiles rolled his eyes.

“I feel it’s about time we have some.” she side glanced Sonia. “Or a kitten.”

Sonia stopped walking. Em let go of Stiles and face her with a worried expression .

“Maybe it's too soon?” She bit her lip and frowned. Waiting for Sonia’s answer.

Stiles took a few steps away to give them privacy.

For a moment Sonia’s eyes filled with unshed tears. Then she stepped closer to Em and kissed her, wrapping her arms on her middle lifting Em off the floor as if she was weightless.

Stiles tried not to stare, but it was impossible. Their love was something that made you hope, that made you think that maybe you could have something like that too,  it made Stiles heart ache with a feeling he tried to bury, thoughts of a name, someone that had made Stiles feel safe, someone that trusted him, someone that protected him.

After a while Em had her feet back on the ground and the biggest smile yet.

“We are having a kitten.” She squealed happily.

Sonia just nodded. She was the silent broody type that made Stiles chest hurt once again.

They ended up going to a rescue animal house, and Em couldn't decide which of the many animals take home.

“We can't take them all.” Sonia grunted when Em stood looking at a cat, then to her, then another cat, then to Sonia again and so on.

“I know.” She whined.

Stiles couldn't help but grin at them.

\--

It was late at night, they were going back to the apartment when a scream got his attention. Before he could say something Sonia was already gone.

Em pulled his arm towards a 24/7 store and asked what he wanted for dinner.

“What is happening Em?” He said instead of answering.

“Nothing, Stiles. Just… let's grab something on the meantime.”

That was the first time Stiles saw her lie. It was painful to see actually. She was a terrible liar.

A couple of minutes later they found Sonia waiting for them.

“You ok?” Em asked squeezing her hand.

Sonia just nodded and they kept walking.

It was near their place when Em got distracted in front of a closed library that Stiles looked at Sonia with a questioning brow.

Sonia sighed. “Em has the bad habit of seeing the good in… people. Most of the time even when you don't see it yourself. She is gonna be there, guiding you through your darkest path right into the light.” Stiles narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, confused. Sonia just shrugged. “You are not the first stray she picked up from the streets.

Stiles kept thinking about that while following Em towards the apartment.

They were cleaning the kitchen when Stiles noticed the stain over Sonia's sweater. It was blood.

Em got nervous. “We better clean that up.” The other woman just took it off and handed it to Em who disappeared towards the laundry room.

Stiles followed Sonia to the living room where he had been staying for the last couple of weeks.

Sonia sat down. “I know you are running away.” She sighed. “Not sure why but I caught a weak scent clinging to you the first day.”

The choice of word made Stiles freeze. “A scent?”

“You are safe here. Not only because you are smart and probably made it hard for whatever is chasing you, but because no werewolf is a match for me.”

Sonia was supernatural? How did that scape Stiles?

“What are you?” He asked confused.

Sonia smirked. “You are not freaking out. I knew you were in the know. Em owes me 20 bucks.”

Stiles laughed, because of course he ended up surrounding himself with other supernatural creatures.

He dropped over his couch/bed. “If you are not a werewolf, what are you?”

“Something older.” Her eyes grew completely black with a silver tinge in the center, like a half silver moon. She showed him sharp fangs and needle-like nails. Not claws per say but just as terrifying.

“My kind has had many names throughout history. The most known today is vampire.” She shrugged after turning back to human form. “But I don't really see why. I do feed on blood but not like in the movies. I can be out in daylight and sleep at night. I have a heartbeat, I’m not dead, and this is how I was born.”

That was the most he heard her talk.

“I spent years hiding away with my family. Couldn't understand why my parents were so afraid until the hunters came.”

Stiles felt this story was too familiar.

“Only a few survived the attack and I am not proud of the path I took after that. Until one day I heard this girl cry for help. Two guys had her trapped in an alley. I could smell their intentions and was disgusted by it. I knocked them down easily and started feeding on them not paying much attention to the girl, cuz I thought she’ll do the logical thing. Run away.”

Sonia glared at Em when she entered the room.

“I wanted to thank you.” She justify with an indignant huff.

After doubting a moment she sat next to Stiles.

“This girl stayed for long minutes until she finally said: don't you think that's enough? You are gonna kill them otherwise.” Sonia laughed incredulously . “Those man almost rape her and she was worried I’ll kill them.”

“Anyways,” Em cut in. “ I invited her for a cup of coffee after we exchange basic information.”

“Oh, that's how you call that?” The vampire mocked. “She asked me if I was a murderer, I said no. She asked if I could drink coffee or only fed on blood. I said yes. And that was enough to ask me out. Unbelievable.”

Em rolled her eyes. “I knew I could trust you. You had saved my life, and were already fed. I wasn't in any danger.”

They kept arguing about Em’s easily trustful disposition and Sonia’s continuous worry for her wellbeing and Stiles realised this was his life. This was the world he lived in. Where supernatural creatures lived among humans, with humans, loving humans.

“Aren’t you worry? That someone can try to hurt her because of you?” He couldn't help to ask.

Sonia gave him a sad lip-tight smile.

“All the time.” Em answered him instead.

It took Sonia a few minutes to be able to talk again.

“There are at least three wolves assisting to class with her at college. A windigo that hides under the sewer hunting at night around the city. A few witches living in the neighbourhood. A harpy that takes the same train that we do on sundays. I could continue for hours naming every supernatural creature close to us… but that is life in the big city. Here there are no big territories with alpha leaders protecting humans. Here we protect ourselves. Here _we_ , the other kinds, are the ones that struggle to survive.”

Stiles couldn't help but thinking about himself. About the choice he made when Scott had been bitten. He decided to stay with him no matter what. The changes he suffered and the people he met after that, the man he was becoming before the hunt. Was it wrong of him to have left Beacon Hills? Abandon his pack the way he did? To have ran away? Was that what he did? If he could go back in time, would he change anything?

No. The answer was always no. Even if he could bring back Allison, would she had been safe having Kate as her aunt? Beacon Hills was a beacon for the supernatural, one way or another Stiles would have found his way to the real World. So no. The answer was always no.

He watch Em and Sonia, two opposites that found goals in common: love, Happiness, life. This time Stiles was willing to let himself believe that he could find a way to have that too.

~*~

Derek wasn't ready to be back to Beacon Hills, but his sister's hand clinging tightly at his grounded him.

They stood in silence in front of the emptiness where once, too long ago, stood their home. The shock of the view left them unable to move.

“There is nothing.” Laura whispered quietly. “Hundreds of years settled here. Our pack. Our legacy.” her voice getting louder. “And there is nothing. ”

Derek kept trying to find something on the ground cover in grass, the trees, the rocks.

Suddenly Laura's stance changed. “Someone is coming.” Her senses as an alpha were a little more enhanced than his. “They are three.”

He felt them first, hearing their footsteps, their scents coming with the wind. Then he saw them, a pair of red eyes, other blue and last, yellow.

“It was stupid of us not to think,” Laura breath, “not to consider.” _That there could be another pack._ Derek read his sister's thoughts.

The three wolves grew closer and Laura took a step forward shielding Derek from them.

“This is McCall territory.” The shockingly young alpha said surrounded by an aura of power but lack of threat.

Actually, they were all too young in Derek's opinion. He glanced at Laura to see if she could see it too.

She gave him a glance.

 _Kids_. They are only Kids.

“We didn't know the territory had been claimed, otherwise we’d have ask permission to come back.” Laura used her diplomatic tone.

“Come back?” the girl with blue eyes said and Derek noticed her scent wasn't exactly a wolf’s.

She sniff the air before gazing straight to Derek, posture changing slightly.

Laura was tense, her overprotective side triggered.

“What is it Malia?” The alpha asked.

“I think I recognize his scent,” the girl said, nose flaring, “he smells like… the loft.”

“Tall, dark and frowny.” The yellow eye beta said.

The words seemed to have some kind of sense because the other two tilted their heads before nodding.

Laura left a confuse growl escaped her but the other alpha relaxed, a crooked grin spreading on his lips.

“You must be Derek Hale.” The alpha looked at him with brown eyes. His scent changing, a tone of sadness in the air.

Derek took a step closer and grasped his sister's hand. Something weird was going on and it was better not to challenge a pack that outnumbered them.

\--

The loft did smell like him -although faint and mingled with others- which was confusing in various ways.

He and Laura were sitting in an old beat up couch, eyes scanning the place.

The alpha, whose name was Scott McCall, guided them there after a small introduction. Malia, the werecoyote was standing against the opposite wall, looking deep in thought. The young wolf, Liam, had gone fetch somebody else.

“We’ve been using this place as headquarters, so to speak.” Scott’s friendly crooked smile was disturbing for the siblings. “We´ve been very busy trying to gain some balance after… yeah.”

He was too nice. Derek didn't trust nice.

The young alpha seemed to pick at their distress.

“I should start from the beginning I guess. I was sixteen when a rough alpha bit me.” He confessed. “I’m still struggling my way through this new world, even three years later-”

“So no one taught you?” Laura interrupted him.

He shook his head, staring back at Malia. “Not that I remember anyways.” Then he stared at the door. “But I knew I wasn't alone.”

The door opened and a petite redhead stepped inside. The young woman had a way of walking that made Derek tense. She smelled human but her confidence in a room with unknown wolves made him question his nose.

“Laura and Derek Hale, meet Lydia Martin.” the alpha said proudly.

Lydia stared at them, her eyes unfocused for a moment before looking at Derek from head to toe. “Leather clawed with a serial killer vibe and amazingly communicative eyebrows.” She said with a nod.

Derek glared at her as hard as he could. _This was ridiculous._ These people were talking about him as if he wasn't right in front of them.

“Did you explained?” The redhead turned to seat next to the young alpha, and rolled her eyes when the guy shook his head.

“A few months ago Beacon Hills was attracted by the Hunt.” she stated.

According to the young women people started to disappear, all trace of them gone, “even memories.”  

Derek finally realised what had been bothering him since he entered the loft. Stiles’ scent was there, almost as faded as his.

“And how did you figure it out if you couldn't remember them.” Laura asked.

Derek had lost part of the story but all he wanted now was to ask these people about Stiles.

“I'm a banshee.” The young woman said as if it was nothing out of the ordinary to see death coming, to talk with spirits and ghosts.

Laura squirmed closer to him probably misunderstanding his sudden change.

“We managed to get rid of them but the memories didn't come back.” Scott said.

The sadness in all of them was almost tangible, and that only made Derek even more uncomfortable. He rubbed his hands over the jeans suddenly aware of the dead phone in his pocket.

He could feel his sister's questioning eyes on him, but all he could do right now was ask.

“What about the people that was taken? The ones that you brought back?”

“They do remember.” Scott confirmed. “Like I said, we use this loft has headquarters. We tried to find a place for them. Help... somehow.”

“We allied with different entities. The Sheriff's department, the Memorial Hospital, Eichen House-”

“The mental health facility?” Laura interrupted again and the banshee gave her a look that made Derek recoiled. She didn't like to be interrupted. Even Laura felt it.

“Yes, they are more than that. Have been dealing with the supernatural on their own way.” Derek could guess she didn't like them very much. “But, with a lot of people with memories that no one else had... We needed all the help we could get.”

“It was heartbreaking.” Liam, the young beta that came back with the banshee said.

Derek saw it clearly now. That's why Stiles had ran away from them, from him, from anything that made him remember what he lost.

Derek felt awful just thinking about it. About being the only one that remembered.

“Alan Deaton and… one of the survivors of the Hunt leaded the reintegration project.” It was obvious this subject made the McCall pack nervous, especially to the Alpha.

“But we are a big pack.” The coyote spoke from the corner of the room were she had been glaring them. “We keep watch in pairs 24/7. Keep alert for any threats, new or old. Some people had been doing fine, found their place again. We are handling it.”

“But still.” The Alpha continued. “Some people couldn't take it. Some find help on meds. Others formed group therapy. Most of Beacon Hills is in the know by now. It makes it a little bit easier.”

“Others kill themselves.” The coyote said it as if it wasn't that big deal.

“Others leave...” Laura guessed.

If someone knew about loss that was Derek Hale and his sister.  His blood running hot, his head full of thoughts and what ifs, _what if it had been me?_

“Stiles.” He finally answered his sister's silent question.

The atmosphere changed again.

“You think that's how he knew about Cora?” Laura asked.

“You-” The werecoyote was immediately standing next to her alpha. “Do you remember him?”

Laura seemed to catch up on what this whole situation implied. “We cross paths in New York, he… knew things about our family and help us find our little sister.” She explained.

“Did he…” Derek cleared his throat. “He knew me?”

The McCall pack explain who Stiles Stilinski was. How he managed to contact the banshee and help them built up a plan to defeat the hunt. How they thought once the missing people were free the memories would be restored.

They were wrong.

“We tried. His parents. All of us.” The alpha sounded as tired and frustrated as he looked.

“He told us about our lives with him in it. About you.” Derek's heart clenched at the banshee’s words. “About how we wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for you.”

Laura put a hand on his shoulders, the gesture forcing him to relax. It was something a wolf could do for their loved ones, grounding, anchoring, with just one touch.

“How can you forget someone like that?” Laura said what he was thinking.

_How?_

After a long silence the coyote spoke.

“It turned out to be too much. After graduation he gathered his things and left.” Malia explained. “That was eight months ago.”

Derek couldn't stop thinking about how messed up it all was. As if some kind of horrible and cruel god of fate had decided to torment this guy in particular and fed on his despair. Because that was what Stiles had smelt like, his whole apartment. Hopelessness, desperation, pain, hurt. And Oh boy did Derek understood.

Maybe it was the same entity that punished him years ago killing Paige and putting Kate on his way. 

Derek looked at his sister. Laura eventually sighed and told them how they met Stiles exactly.

“He ran away and it's our fault.” She acknowledged.

“He left his phone.” Derek said forcing his hand to leave the mobile over the rattled coffee table. “I tried to track him down but he abandoned the apartment that same night.” He grunted.

He understood now why Stiles had left. He had been right to think it wasn't because he was afraid of him or Laura, but because of what they represented.

More pain.

~*~

Stiles managed to find a job at a dinner between collage and Em’s apartment. He enjoyed the noise, the endless chatter and how the incoming orders kept his mind busy.

He still stayed with Em and Sonia but between the job, his class schedule and the library he mostly went there to sleep. Besides he convinced them to let him pay for the groceries at least once a week.

It was a sunday that found Stiles sitting on the balcony. Staring at the city, his back hurting from the double shift he pulled that weekend, and the stress of the paper he just finished writing.

Scratchy the cat had was sleeping soundly on its favourite mat.  The girls were out and the silence and lack of distractions made room for his feelings to resurface.

He missed his dad. He missed the hugs and the 'I love yous’. He missed Scott, his best friend, the WoT marathons. He missed his home, wherever that was now.

Stiles reached for the phone Sonia ‘borrowed’ him, meaning she shove it to Stiles’ hands one afternoon and said: “for emergencies.”

He dialed the number out of memory and hovered over the call button.

Living with Em and Sonia had giving him a lot to think about.

He asked Em about how she coped with the knowledge of the supernatural.

She shrugged and said it was still the same world she was born into, only more magical.

He asked if she felt that encounter with Sonia changed her.

“Only a little, if anything it made me braver. I never thought I’ll be the girl that could ask someone out before.” She looked straight to his eyes and added. “But no, I'm still the same person. I will always be, even if I take wrong choices or make mistakes. In the end nothing can really change the essence of my soul, unless I let it happen.”

He allowed himself to think about his life before the bite, before the nogitsune and mainly before the hunt. Of how he got to know things about himself, overcome fears, bond with his father fighting the supernatural, dream about who he wanted to be one day.

“Welcome to the law enforcement.” Were words that made him have a specific goal. To plan his future in a new light.

He could help his father, stand by his side protecting people, protecting kids. Kids like him, Scott and Lydia before the supernatural, kids like Heather that died victim of someone that was consumed by pain. Kids like Erica and Boyd from alpha werewolves killers. Kids like Malia and Isaac from abusive adults. Kids like Derek from human psychopaths.

 _Derek_.

Stiles was curious how changed was the wolf now. Had they found Cora? Were they staying on South America or moved back to New York? Would this Derek argue and bicker with him or may be shove him against hard surfaces?

Stiles laughed at the memory of his hornier, younger self that tried in vain not to be turned on by the tall, dark and frowny werewolf.

Had Derek magically acquired a sense of humour now?

 _No, he had one already._ He thought. His heart aching.

Shooking his head Stiles stared at the sun set. His grasp firm over the phone.

He remembered the time before the bite, before loss and grif. But, the thing is the was loss and grif, horrible heartbreak, long before the bite.

He delete it the number and dial another one. This time he pressed call before he could chicken out.

“Hello?” The female voice answered.

“Hey… Claudia.” He tasted the wrongness of it in the back of his mouth. He tried again. “Hi, mom.”

He heard the woman sob quietly on the other end.

“Stiles. It's nice to hear your voice.” She managed out.

He felt something inside shift and turn. “How is everything over there?” He tried to sound casual, as if this conversation wasn't some kind of desperate attempt to fix the gaping hole in his soul.

“Good. Quite good.” He heard some shuffling. “Actually there’s someone here that's been asking for you. Would you like to talk to him?”

Guessing it was Scott, he forced himself to agree.

“Stiles.”

…

It wasn't Scott.

…

It's amazing what a single word can do to a person. How a sound so mundane as a name can trigger an avalanche of memories. Can cause muscle reactions. Amazing the way a voice can pause time. Can build or destroy. Can end it all.

Stiles ended the call. He thought he'll never see or hear Derek Hale again. He thought the pain would lessen over time. He hoped he could get past this.

He was wrong.


	4. B Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Derek´s internal struggle and Claudia´s too.

Derek lower the phone.

“I'm sorry.” 

He couldn't even look at the woman sitting next to him.

The Hale siblings had been staying at the loft trying to wrap their heads around the situation.

_ Was I really dead? Did uncle Peter kill me? Are you sure my brother killed Peter and became an alpha? What happened to his pack? No, you can’t tell me that! Can we trust in his word? _

Derek had glared at Laura after that last inquiry to the McCall pack. He didn't like the answers either but they weren't lying.

After two days of question after question, of driving through their hometown, of thinking what to do next, Derek kept being hunted by Stiles' scent, heavy with sadness.

He decided to pay the Sheriff and his wife a visit in hopes to find some clues on how to find Stiles and… do something. Anything. If only to thank him for Cora and apologise for being an ass and imposing himself, when in reality all he wanted to do was smell him one more time so maybe his wolf could stop craving.

That's how hours drinking coffee with Claudia Stilinski talking about the 19 year old son that had suddenly appeared in her life out of thin air, were interrupted by a call.

The moment Derek heard the voice his heart started to race, he turned his hands into sweaty fists, a lump formed in his throat and he locked his jaw to prevent his wolf from howling in need. It was stupid how that simple thing -a voice over the phone - could get him so worked up.

When Claudia recovered enough to talk, he never imagine she’ll give  _ him _ the phone.

In a panic all he could to do was to say his name through clenched teeth. A name. As if it were a whole sentences in itself, conveying a  _ hello _ , a  _ yes I know your full name now _ , a  _ I came to Beacon Hills to try and find you.  _ An  _ I don't know what else to say beside your name. _

There was a moment where Derek’s whole world reduces to just one heartbeat and a breathing sound. And it weren't his nor Claudia’s next to him.

But then the call was over. 

Derek felt terrible, he did it again, he made Stiles step back, hide.

“No, I’m the one that panicked.” Claudia said. “I am sorry. His first call in months and I…” her voice was muffled by her sobs. A moment later she collected herself enough to give Derek a trembling smile. “He called me mom.”

The woman have confessed to Derek how hard it had been to wrap her head around the idea that she was the result of magic, that the 'true Claudia Stilinski ‘ had been dead to Stiles for so long she believed it was impossible for Stiles to accept her, the  _ 'clone’ _ , as part of his life. But Claudia had tried to connect with him anyways. 

“I can see it in you eyes.” The woman said after another cup of coffee and a comfortable silence. “You feel his pain too.”

Derek ducked his head, ears burning red.

“My husband and I had stopped looking for a baby after my miscarriage, but I wondered once in awhile how would it feel to have a smaller version of Noah growing up into their own person. And then Stiles showed up. And he is so smart and brave… he is all Noah’s, except the eyes. Those are mine. And the freckles.” she made Derek look at her. “He thinks he is damage, that he doesn't belong. He is looking for a place to call home.”

Derek understood that search. And maybe that's how he could pay Stiles back. Maybe his experience could be useful for someone else.

“I want to help.” Derek told her and saw a real smile pull at the corners of her lips.

“I trust you will” Claudia Stilinski had a way of talk people into doing exactly what she wanted… just like her son.


	5. Building up from ashes, building up from oblivion.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have to find some balance and be better on their own before being able to be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally chapter 3. The last part.   
> Thank you so much for all of your comments. I can´t even express into words what this fic meant to me. And you reader, I am so, so thankful <3

“Stiles! Stiles!” Sonia’s voice woke him up. “You had another nightmare.”

Stiles was sweaty and felt like throwing up. The nogitsune had been possessing his body only seconds ago. He counted his fingers and took several deep breaths.

“I need to find an apartment.” He said running his eyes trying to take all the salty tears away. “I'm sorry I wake you.”

“Don't worry. I was up already.” Stiles was about to joke with the whole 'creature of the night’ thing but something on her eyes made him halt. “Believe it or not, there are things that haunt my dreams too.”

They stayed awake in silence until Em woke up and it was time for them to go to class.

“Here.” Sonia put a piece of paper in his hand. “It's an old  _ empatha _ and it helped me a lot.”

The rest of the day Stiles thought about her words. He considered going to therapy many times but having to hide the nature of his nightmares and night terrors seemed too much effort. But if Sonia said this, whatever-empatha-meant, could help then he should try. Right?

Laura sighed.

“I don't know Der.”

“I'm not asking your permission as an alpha. I'm asking your support as my sister.”

They proceeded to have a staring discussion.

They had been talking about going back to New York or starting over in Beacon Hill all day long. Laura had quit her job at an accountancy office, she had started there to gather experience before going on her own.

Derek had his degree in Spanish and latin and was torn between a few more years of study -history this time- or starting to teach.

It wasn't has they needed the money, the had plenty of that. So really it all depended on where they would settled.

“I'm not saying I want to live there forever but-”

“You want to go find him.” She said, her eyes softening. “Do you remember what that boy, Liam, said the first night we met? How he recognized you?”

He thought for a moment.

“Tall, dark and frowny.” She smiled a bit. “At first I didn't know why the words sounded familiar. It wasn't the first time I heard someone say them.”

Derek waited for her to elaborate but his sister only made a face and groaned.

“Think Der, where did you heard those words.”

He frowned thinking about them. Trying to see if they triggered some memory and suddenly...

“ _ Nothing really happened. I was too young to realise that I was attracted to him and our banter was our own kind of foreplay. I couldn't accept that tall, dark and broody was a thing that turned me on.”  _

Stiles had been talking about a man he used to know…

“You are right. You have to do this.” Laura stood up and hugged him. “Maybe he has the exact shape to fit that hole in your heart you told me about. Maybe in the last couple of years it hadn't been the fire that's been keeping you stuck. Maybe it was your wolf missing something. Missing him.”

So Derek wasn't the only one that thought about it.

“You heard it too?” He asked shyly.

“My wolf has.” She kissed his temple and Derek relaxed. “We are going back tomorrow.”

\--

Stiles had expected some kind of lair with runes painted in the walls or shelves with witchy-looking stuff, or anything really, except this.

The secretary pointed to the comfy looking couch. “You can wait there. She’ll be seeing you in a few minutes.”

The number Sonia gave him from a psychologist´ office and after saying his name -his real polish one because the secretary insisted- he was given an appointment right away.

A guy with pink almost glowy hair opened the door.

“You should try rosemary.” The woman said and the guy nodded at her and left. 

“You can come in now.” A voice called from the other room.

Inside the place looked exactly as any other office. Big windows with white curtains. A sofá, some chairs and a desk. There was a shelf covered with books in the far wall and a few indoor plants.

The person sitting behind the desk though… Sonia and the secretary had used “she” to referred to her so Stiles did the same. Just looking at her made you relaxed. Her face had many wrinkles, her hair short and white, her skin dark and her eyes had a soft and easy way of making you want to talk.

Emerald explained that she could impose her feeling to others, make his patients feel what she wanted and sometimes it was helpful, specially working with quick-to-anger supernatural kinds.

The person sitting behind the desk though… Sonia and the secretary had used “she” to referred to her so Stiles did the same. Just looking at her made you relaxed. Her face had many wrinkles, her hair short and white, her skin dark and her eyes had a soft and easy way of making you want to talk.

Emerald explained that she could impose her feeling to others, make his patients feel what she wanted and sometimes it was helpful, specially working with quick-to-anger supernatural kinds.

Derek spent hours, days, weeks looking for Stiles, but every time he seemed to get closer to something the trail disappeared leaving Derek absolutely crushed.

It was weird how you could miss someone you didn't even know. How you could worry about their safety and health only by wishing every day to whatever force that existed to take care of them for you. Until you find them.

Laura had forced him to keep on going with his own life meanwhile, which was the healthiest thing for him. 

“You'll find him when the time is right.” His therapist´ wife, that was also the secretary, told him after his session. 

He kept a monthly visit schedule. Especially after big changes or events. Derek considered finding out that you had a whole different life where his sister died, and he became alpha after killing his uncle only to lose his pack again, a very big event.

He went back to college. Kept in touch with the McCall pack and especially with Claudia Stilinski and Lydia Martin. Both women had managed to make some room into his slightly damaged but still functional and healing heart.

He smiled to Rosemary, the woman could see small pieces of the future. “Thank you.”

Derek left the office feeling good. He would wait for Stiles to be ready to come to him.  _ When the time is right. _

\--

Stiles saw him first. 

But this time he didn't run.

He knew Derek wanted to see him again, the pack had told him that much and even his…  _ mom and dad  _ had mentioned the Hales in one of Stiles’ sporadic calls.

He was making small progress thanks to the therapy and had started from scratch even with his own parents.

He was now living in a new apartment that he shared with Em and Sonia, and Scratchy, the cat. He even had plants on his window sill that he felt proud of seeing grow.

He wasn't the same young man that found Derek a few months ago. He wasn't desperately holding his shattered life anymore. This time, when he went back to see Ben and Naomi and they asked him how he was, Stiles didn't lie. He was doing good. But still, he was searching for a place to call home again.

“Not all homes are places Stiles. Sometimes they are the people we go back to to feel  safe.” Emerald had said in one of their sessions.

He gather his strength. Took a deep breath and opened the door of the coffee shop, there was a date waiting for him. 

The moment he stepped inside Derek smelt him. The wolf looked up from his laptop with an expression Stiles had rarely seen on the Derek he remembered knowing.

He walked up to him not taking his eyes away.

“Is this seat taken.” Stiles voice was a little shaky.

Derek shook his head minutely. 

Stiles sat and sprawled his things next to Derek's.

“I'm gonna get a coffee. Do you want something?” He offered.

Derek swallowed, eyes still tracing Stiles form.

“A caramel latte.” He murmured after a moment.

Stiles had to bite back a laugh, a little surprised. “Sure.” He said shaking his head.

This was someone he didn't know. Stiles had to remember that. Get to know this person from scratch.

“I'm Stiles.” He said once he delivered Derek's order. “Stiles Stilinski.” He sat down with a worry smile.

“Derek Hale.” The wolf said, understanding immediately.

“So, Derek, would you like to tell me more about you?”

This was a date that had been waiting for him for a long time. Someone that was willing to wait, for Stiles to come back  _ home _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sterek is and always will be my OTP <3

**Author's Note:**

> Spread the Sterek love!!!!
> 
> Sterek is Eternal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3


End file.
